What Happened to All the Girls I Loved Before

《What Happened to All the Girls I Loved Before》是一首極簡 Trap (Minimal Trap) 風格的饒舌作品。這首歌以一種冷面笑匠 (Deadpan) 的語氣，細數了過往感情經歷中的各種「類型」。在冰冷的 808 鼓點與極其簡約的鍵盤伴奏下，我像在唸清單一樣，回憶著那些曾經出現過的女孩——從循規蹈矩的乖乖牌到追求速度的壞女孩，從強迫症般的潔癖狂到總是弄丟鑰匙的混亂製造者。

歌詞透過這種近乎機械式的列舉，諷刺了現代人在感情中過度標籤化與挑剔的現象。每一段關係的結束，似乎都有一個完美的藉口：「太乾淨」、「太野」、「太嚴格」或「太自由」。我在歌詞中承認了自己的貪婪，既想要安穩的舒適圈，又想要危險的刺激感，就像在菜單上什麼都想要，卻在最後發現自己其實根本不知道在尋找什麼。

然而，歌曲的結尾帶來了整首歌最大的反轉與自我反省。在 Bridge 段落中，音樂抽離，留下了最赤裸的獨白：也許問題不在於「外面的世界」，而在於我看待世界的濾鏡。當我在鏡子前審視這一切時，才驚覺那些對於「完美」的追求只是一種掩飾。最後那句「原來我才是那個骯髒老頭 (dirty old man)」，以一種自嘲的方式戳破了所有的自我感覺良好，承認了這場尋愛之旅中，最大的問題其實是那個永遠不滿足的自己。

《What Happened to All the Girls I Loved Before》(我以前愛過的那些女孩都怎麼了)

她們去哪了……(耶)
我只是問問 (說真的)

我有過乖女孩——有界線，會禱告，早睡早起
有過壞女孩——計畫快，說話快，燈光快 (呃)
有過潔癖狂——標籤貼在標籤上，鞋子排成列
有過混亂女孩——弄丟鑰匙，卻依然掌控全場 (瘋狂)
有過女強人——行事曆滿檔，沒時間玩遊戲
有過溫柔女孩——心很大，聲音很小，從不抱怨
有過健身女孩——蛋白質和哩程數，紀律堅強
有過藝術女孩——手上有顏料，把感覺寫進歌裡 (嗯)
有過「秒回」女孩——三個點，然後消失
有過「不需要任何人」的女孩——教會了我，我是錯的 (事實)

現在我滑著我自己的決定，心想——
是她們的問題……還是我的胃口？(暫停)

我以前愛過的那些女孩都怎麼了？(哪去了？)
我一眨眼，就被關在每一扇門外 (該死)
太乾淨，太野，太嚴格，太自由——
每個人都「太超過」，然後就變成「不適合我」(我的錯)
我以前愛過的那些女孩都怎麼了？(告訴我)
也許我根本不知道我在找什麼 (耶)

有過「完美計畫」女孩——顏色編碼的人生，沒有驚喜
有過「活在當下」女孩——明天這詞不適用 (好喔)
有過一塵不染女孩——無法忍受任何污漬
有過髒亂女孩——在雨中大笑，稱之為遊戲
有過忠誠的那一個——當我低潮時撐住了我
有過刺激的那一個——讓風暴感覺像場表演 (風暴)
我批判得太快，然後錯過了真實的東西
想要在同一餐裡吃到舒適與危險 (貪心)
告訴自己，「我只是挑惕」，好像這很可愛——
但我一直追逐極端，彷彿那才是真理 (暫停)

也許不是「世道」問題，也許是我的濾鏡 (耶)
也許我稱之為「品味」，但那是偽裝的恐懼 (真的)
我不斷收集故事，卻從未學到教訓——
所以告訴我……誰才是我這場告白裡的問題？(誰？)

我以前愛過的那些女孩都怎麼了？(哪去了？)
我把一切搞得複雜，然後怪罪世界 (我的錯)
我想要各種口味，各種神話，各種夢想——
然後當沒人留在我的隊伍裡時，裝作很震驚 (暫停)
看著鏡子，答案狠狠打擊了我——
說了這麼多……原來我才是那個骯髒老頭？(……是我)

Where’d they go… (yeah)
I’m just askin’ (real talk)

I had the good girl—boundaries, prayer, early nights
Had the bad girl—fast plans, fast talk, fast lights (uh)
Had the neat-freak—labels on labels, shoes in a row
Had the chaos girl—lost her keys, still ran the show (crazy)
Had the boss girl—calendar full, no time for games
Had the soft girl—big heart, small voice, never complained
Had the fitness girl—protein and miles, discipline strong
Had the artsy girl—paint on her hands, wrote feelings in songs (mm)
Had the “text me back” girl—three dots, then gone
Had the “don’t need nobody” girl—taught me I was wrong (facts)

Now I’m scrollin’ through my own decisions like—
Was it them… or was it my appetite (pause)

What happened to all the girls I loved before (where?)
I blink, and I’m outside every door (damn)
Too clean, too wild, too strict, too free—
Everybody’s “too much,” then it’s “not for me” (my bad)
What happened to all the girls I loved before (tell me)
Maybe I don’t know what I’m lookin’ for (yeah)

Had the “perfect plan” girl—color-coded life, no surprise
Had the “live right now” girl—tomorrow never applied (okay)
Had the spotless girl—couldn’t stand a single stain
Had the messy girl—laughed in the rain, called it a game
Had the loyal one—held me down when I was low
Had the thrill one—made a storm feel like a show (storm)
I judged too quick, then I missed what was real
Wanted comfort and danger in the same meal (greedy)
Told myself, “I’m just picky,” like it’s cute—
But I keep chasin’ extremes like that’s the truth (pause)

Maybe it ain’t “the streets,” maybe it’s my lens (yeah)
Maybe I called it “taste,” but it’s fear in disguise (real)
I kept collectin’ stories, never learnin’ the lesson—
So tell me… who’s the problem in my confession (who?)

What happened to all the girls I loved before (where?)
I made it complicated, then blamed the world (my fault)
I wanted every flavor, every myth, every dream—
Then acted shocked when nobody stayed on my team (pause)
Lookin’ at the mirror, answer hittin’ me hard—
All this talk… who the dirty old man am I (…me)