That toxic love

不是所有的爱都是无私的。有些控制、占有与伤害，也会以爱的名义出现。

《That Toxic Love》写的是一种扭曲的“爱”——你被需要，却不被允许拥有自己；你被捧高，也被贬低；当你想拉开距离，连保护自己都变成了忘恩负义。

“You owe me, after all I’ve done for you.”

这首歌描写的是 narcissistic “love”：以付出制造亏欠，以关心限制自由，让人逐渐怀疑自己的感受，失去自己的声音。

“It’s not mine anymore.”
是开始认清：我不必再背负你以爱之名交给我的伤害。

That Toxic Love — Ambi-R-OSE

Bend my voice to fit your name
Dress me up the way you choose
Tell me where I’m allowed to move
Out there I shine the way you need
At home I shrink, I barely breathe

If I look happy, you fall apart
One small sentence hits too hard
You only want me smiling, not speaking
You turn the light in me to something weak
If I grow, you pull me back
If I glow, you fade to black
Say you’re keeping me safe while I slip away

Your love’s a river over my head
You pull me close, pull at the thread
I’m the daughter of the flood, trying not to drown
You break me down and you hold me now

That toxic love
That toxic love

You play savior, you play hurt
Every story starts to twist
I’m your angel, I’m your blame
Standing small inside your name
Lift me higher when they all see
Then you tear the best of me
You bend my path till pieces break

I stop myself before I speak
I change my thoughts before they’re free
I don’t know what’s really mine
Or what you left inside my mind

Your love’s a river over my head
You pull me close, pull at the thread
I’m the daughter of the flood, trying not to drown
You break me down, then you hold me now

That toxic love
That toxic love
That toxic love
That toxic love

You say you gave me everything
How could I walk away?
After all you’ve done for me
This is how I repay

You don’t raise your voice
You never try
You just look at me like I’m why you cry

Am I wrong for needing distance?
Am I cold for needing air?
Every move I make, you call it harsh
Every word I breathe, you say it scars

You shaped a twisted, unsteady soul
I start to believe it
I hate that I need it
Am I yours, or just who you named?

Your love’s a river over my head
I pull away from the thread
I’m the daughter of the flood
Learning how to stand
You break my legs
Still I feel your hands

That toxic love
That toxic love
That toxic love
That toxic love

This toxic “love”
It’s not mine anymore