Sexy Uncle Hypocrite

Any uncle who isn't a hypocrite, please raise your hand. Your drinks are on the house. You may see yourself out.

Lyrics — Christopher Reed
Music — Minzer C Lee
Vocals — Christopher Reed & Minzer C Lee

https://youtu.be/ULXGf6mB5Mw

Shh...

Button up.
Chin up.
Eyes down.

Oh, you look so innocent.

Sunday morning, looking clean
Nicest uncle you've ever seen
Silver cross and Italian shoes
Giving everybody moral news

Don't be greedy, don't be vain
Don't go dancing in the rain
Keep your hands where I can see
Now, darling, stop looking at me

One for the Father
Two for the Son
Three for the things
That should never be done

Four for the whiskey
Five for the lie
Six for the lady
Who just walked by

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Preaching what he can't commit
Holy words on wicked lips
Watch those little morals slip

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Too well dressed to ever quit
One more sin, one more sip
Hallelujah, what a trip

Good intentions.
Bad decisions.

Mm.
Delicious.

Monday evening, half past ten
Uncle's being good again
Told the boys to get some rest
Then unbuttoned his velvet vest

At the bar, a knowing smile
He's been righteous for a while
Someone whispers, "Aren't you sweet?"
He says, "Honey, take a seat."

One for the promise
Two for the pride
Three for the secrets
He keeps inside

Four for the sermon
Five for the show
Six for the places
A good man shouldn't go

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Preaching what he can't commit
Holy words on wicked lips
Watch those little morals slip

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Too well dressed to ever quit
One more sin, one more sip
Hallelujah, what a trip

"Do you believe in temptation?"

Of course.

"And forgiveness?"

Naturally.

"So what's your biggest weakness?"

Excellent manners.

And terrible self-control.

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Every rule's a perfect fit
For everybody else, you see
Never quite applies to me

Sexy Uncle Hypocrite
Such a charming little shit
One more sin, one more sip
Hallelujah, what a trip

I'm not a saint.
Never claimed to be.

But I do look good
In black.

Amen.