22

我的22歲，壓垮駱駝的最後一根稻草是對面鄰居頂樓種的火龍果。

我覺得羨慕跟忌妒是人之常情，在今年疫情肆虐下的應屆畢業生，是否多了份挫折、憤怒以及迷惘...沒有畢旅的挫折、沒有畢典的憤怒、即將被推向社會的迷惘......阿 我要讀研，再給我多迷惘兩年好了。歌詞中都是真實發生的我的情況，那是來自一位即將23歲的老年輕人的惶恐。文法不對拜託糾正我，我英文爛爆。

你以為，這是一首正向紀錄歲月的歌嗎？
不是的，這首歌憤怒並且絕望。__ Sanna Liu

22
詞/曲 /Sanna Liu

The walking dead, is it talking about me?
The confusion of others will be answered at 18.
Already graduated from university, but l’m still worrying about this. uh…
Oh Live for more than four years, more panic.
The efforts and success of others 10 years early ,
What should I going to do…
Living without goal , without core , living without the power to chasing my dream.

——————
The dragon fruit grown on the neighbor opposite， it’s bears a lot.
The melon I planted was washed away by the heavy rain, only dead leaves and branches.
Even the flowers have no chance to bloom.
I pray that the fruit outside will fall and corrupt,
But they picked it on time.
I'm desperate,
The Flower buds in the mud were trampled by raindrops.

——————-
The walking dead, that’s talking about me.
Overwhelmed by life and reality before I started.
There’s not only one sick person in the family, so am I.
I give up my dreams, give up love, give up hope, to lie,
just wanna share some little pressure.
But I didn't expect me to be assimilated.
Become so frustrated,
Believe in angels but no longer have faith.

“The daughter of that family on the corner gave a baby while ago . ”,
my mother said so.
Oh Why we always envy?
Why do women get married and have babies after all?
I’m too hope to that family parting ways so that I can laugh at.
But they lived a full life.
I let the world see my ugliness,
See how disappointed I am with my darkness innerr.

Is 22 a good start and source of hope？
No, just angry, desperate at all.
________________
行屍走肉，是在說我嗎？
別人的迷惘在18歲就有解答
我卻到了大學畢業還在為這件事煩惱
多活了四年多了更大的恐慌
別人的努力和成功早在10年前、
我該做些什麼
沒有目標、沒有核心的活著 沒有力氣去追夢的過著

對面人家種的火龍果結了好多
我種的瓜卻被大雨沖到只剩枯枝殘葉
連花都沒有機會綻放
我祈禱著對面的果實會因此墜落腐化
但他們卻能準時摘下
我絕望著
瓜的花苞在泥沼中被雨點踐踏

行屍走肉是在說我吧。
還沒開始就先被生活與現實壓垮
家裡生病的人不只一個，我也是啊
我放棄夢想放棄愛情放棄希望 說了謊
為了只是要分擔一些壓力
卻沒想到我被同化
也變得如此沮喪
雖然相信天使但不再擁有信仰

街角那戶人家的女兒又生了小寶寶
聽著母親這樣說道
為什麼總是羨慕著別人呢？
為什麼女人終究要結婚生子呢？
我多期待那一家人分道揚鑣好讓我能夠嘲笑
但是他們卻如此美滿幸福
我卻讓世界看到我多醜陋
看看我對自己內心的黑暗處有多失望

22歲的這年是一個好的開始、是希望的源頭？
不是的，這一年 憤怒又絕望。