Lonely

Sometimes,
I question my worthiness,
my worthiness living in this world
I am useless.
Doing things I don’t like,
things that are not my things
I don’t know why I’m here
Why do people live? For what do people strive?

Sometimes,
we just have to be put in the right places in life.
I can feel that
this is wrong
Even though I am beautifully dressed
Even though I seem to be
on top of the world,
Recognized by the whole world.

We live only once,
a blink of the eye
So many times, when on the floor of a studio I slowly crawl by
So many times, when frustration strikes and I helplessly cry
So many times, when the paint
on the stage stains my coat like dye
At least I felt like I was alive
At least I felt alive

When my heart starts aching
I can feel that I’m breathing
The only way
to prove that I am still living
No longer slave of the society
My parents’ expectancy
I’m alive in this world
I can feel I’m alive

No longer questioning the meaning of life
I can feel my existence,
my breath
my pulse
No longer becoming the identical kind
The one loved and adored by all mankind
Eaten
and swallowed
by this hypocritical world

My protest, disappointment,
my heart-break and pain

(I am so frustrated)

Don’t want to be pretty anymore,
don’t want to be untrue,
Don’t want superficial
splendidness
But to live
with a lovely ungliness
To face my heart that is true.

I am lonely

I konw