18

這首歌在voice memo和garageBand 裡 躺了好久。
高中考完學測那一年開始寫歌，那時候17歲，很焦慮、很害怕
長大，因為覺得自己什麼事都沒做就要成年了，所以在18歲生日的前幾天寫了這首歌。

之前看過有人說，過幾年後再回去聽自己以前寫的歌，就不再有寫歌當下的情緒或感受了。
這個夏天我就要22歲了，我還是一樣對於年紀一直增長卻還是一事無成感到很迷茫、焦慮。希望有一天當我聽我以前寫的東西的時候，能想著「我已經不那樣想了，我已經沒有那種感覺了。」

雖然放在這裡沒有人會聽或看，反正就當一個紀錄。
2024.7.10

ps. 照片是我18歲的生日蛋糕

oh, how can I put it?
it’s getting old
I can’t hide it anymore
well, how do I explain?
I don’t even know
it’s been bothering me for so long

it isn’t that fun growing up
I don’t want it no more
I’m so scared of getting old
I’m not ready for eighteen
I’m obsessed with people on the internet
I’m nothing compared to them
when will I stop feeling sorry for myself
still on my way to happiness
I’m not ready for it
but I’m over eighteen

gone, my childhood is gone
it hurt to the core
I never felt this way before
hey, can I take it slow?
it doesn’t show
but I’m the one who needs time to grow

it isn’t that fun growing up
I don’t want it no more
I’m so scared of getting old
I’m not ready for eighteen
I’m obsessed with people on the internet
I’m nothing compared to them
when will I stop feeling sorry for myself
still on my way to happiness
I’m not ready for it
but I'm over eighteen