Not on Top of Your List (Demo)

生活中微小的決定、話語，讓你發現他沒有你那麼在乎，
你試著否定一切和假裝不在乎，
因為這微妙的心情難以啟齒，你為自己的在乎感到羞恥。

你發現你無法怪罪誰，因為每人都有自己的優先考量。
最終，你了解到這簡單的事實，你只是不在他們的優先順序裡。
—
詞曲：劉敏涵 Acissej
編曲：劉敏涵 Acissej
木吉他：陳從廉

If I were fun
如果我是有趣的人
Could know how to say the right words
知道怎麼說出對的話

If I'd gone up on stage
如果當初站到台上
Would you have stayed?
你是否會留下

Lent you a shoulder to cry on
借你我的肩膀哭一場
For the fights and the breakups
陪伴度過那些分手 爭吵

Say you envy me
你說你羨慕我
I've got it figured out
生活沒什麼煩惱

Truth is I cried, alone at night
事實上 我在夜晚獨自哭著
Because of you
因為你

Know you didn't mean it but it hurt just the same
你不是故意的 我知道 但還是一樣受傷
Cant say you were wrong
無法說你錯
Only myself to blame
只能怪我自己
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡

I practice laughing it off wish you'd notice my pain
練習笑著說 但希望你能察覺
You didn’t say it aloud
你沒說出口
But I felt the shame
但 丟臉 深刻感受
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡

Why don't you say how you really feel
為什麼不說出真正的感受
I make a joke and say no
我開個玩笑說 不
Don't want it if it's just guilt
不想要 只是罪惡感的陪伴

Isnt it pathetic
是不是很可悲
All these years I
這些年
Always give too much, try too hard
總是給太多太用力
All in or all out
賭上所有或全然退出
Can't seem to draw the line
劃不清界線

I know it's nothing
我知道這沒什麼
Try to say it's nothing
想要說這沒什麼
Try to let it go
想將回憶拋下
Hard to lie to my feelings
但很難對感受說謊

When finally honest, you couldn’t take it
當我終於誠實你無法面對
For you I always try to find excuses
為了你 我總是想辦法找理由

Somehow it's my fault for not forgetting it all
無法忘記一切似乎變成我的錯

Know you didn't mean it but it hurt just the same
你不是故意的 我知道 但還是一樣受傷
Cant say you were wrong
無法說你錯
Only myself to blame
只能怪我自己
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡

I practice laughing it off wish you'd notice my pain
練習笑著說 但希望你能察覺
You didn’t say it aloud
你沒說出口
But I felt the shame
但 丟臉 深刻感受
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡
Just not on top of your list
只是 沒在你的優先順序裡